Note Worthy
Leadership Tuneup
The Ideal Mentor Alway
1. Tells you the truth â€" even when it hurts.
One man who has been one of my mentors for almost 18 years especially
stands out because of his honesty with me. Early in my ministry and
marriage, he pulled me aside and explained to me that I was not very
respectful to my wife in public. He explained that the ladies of the
church would not honor me as a minister for this reason. At the time
I was offended that he would tell me this as I thought I was very good
to my wife. However, years later, I see where he was coming from.
I’m grateful that he was bold enough and honest enough to talk to me
about a sensitive subject. Honoring my wife and publicly showing her
affection has not only given me respect among the other ladies of the
church, but has also been a blessing to our marriage.
2. Shows a good example for you to follow.
The old cliché “Do as I say, not as I do.†Does not work in
mentoring. A lifelong mentor should be someone who is a model of who
you want to become. Everyone is a little bit like the people who have
parented them. Part of a mentor’s role is to let the protégé watch
them closely in the work that they do. One of my mentors would often
times invite me to sit in on important meetings that I had no
experience in. I would never say a word unless asked my input. I
understood that I was there to observe and to learn. I watched my
mentor closely to see how he handled fragile situations that I had no
experience in. I would often ask myself how I would handle these
often sensitive meetings, but would then watch my mentor expertly
handle delicate subjects with Godly wisdom.
3. Sees you as family.
Mentoring someone is a life long commitment. Your best mentors are
not people who are only a part of your life for a short amount of
time. A mentor sees you as a son or daughter in the Gospel. Paul who
mentored Timothy referred to him as his son. Anything less than a
family level commitment may prove to be a surface only relationship
between mentor and protégé. Often times, subjects discussed in a
mentoring relationship are sensitive and personal. A protégé needs
to know that he is going to someone who is a father figure who only
has the protégé’s best interest in mind.
4. Shows himself/herself to be open and transparent with you.
A good mentor is someone who is not afraid to talk to those they
mentor about their failures as well as their successes. My father
would often say to me, “Don’t make the same mistakes that I have
made.†This is a good reason for mentors to be open with their
protégés. You may save that person a tremendous amount of pain and
numerous mistakes by revealing to them the mistakes you yourself have
made along the way.
5. Teaches
Personally I find it hard to explain to people how I do the things
that I do well. Some things come naturally to me, but I find it hard
to explain or articulate to others how or why I do what I do. As a
mentor, it’s important for me to slow down and explain the process to
those I mentor. It’s often times harder to explain the process than
do it, but the protégé needs to be able to learn from the mentor’s
giftedness.
6. Sees and believes in your potential.
You cannot effectively mentor another unless you see something in them
that they may not see in themselves. You have to be someone who is
capable of causing them to become someone better than who they
currently are. If you look at that person and only see their
shortcomings, then you may not be the best person to mentor them.
When you mentor someone, you are investing a portion of your life into
them. You will not want to invest that level of commitment in
someone you do not see tremendous potential in. When I look at a
person, I try hard to not see them as they are, but to see them as
they can become. Honestly, I am often very critical of people at
first. This is a problem I have identified in my own personality.
However, through prayer and looking through the eyes of Jesus at
people, I can see tremendous potential that I never would have seen
with the natural eye.
7. Is someone who can help you bring your vision into a reality.
Thru the years, I have had many dreams and visions of God’s will for
my life and ministry. My mentors have helped me understand my various
burdens and help me keep in check which visions were possible and
which ones were not. One mentor recently chuckled and told me there
is no possible way to do all that I currently want to do for the
Lord. He helped me understand that I need to pace myself and that God
will give me the helps along the way to accomplish all I have a vision
for. However, for the mean time, do only what I can humanly do.
8. Is open to learn from you.
Someone once told a joke that God was referring to Solomon when He
said, “Ya, I made him so smart, he started to teach Me.†It is
entirely possible that a protégé may eventually have something to
bring to the table. As a person matures and develops, they may even
surpass the wisdom and knowledge of their mentor in a given area.
This is to be expected and hoped for. This is the purpose of
mentoring, so that the next generation of leaders will have learned
from the experiences of those they glean from. A mentor offers his
protégé a tremendous gift when he allows that person to teach them
something. This shows the protégé that he has graduated in a certain
area. It also shows him that he is honored among those he honors.
By Rev. James Smith
www.site.apayton.me - anthony@apayton.me
One man who has been one of my mentors for almost 18 years especially
stands out because of his honesty with me. Early in my ministry and
marriage, he pulled me aside and explained to me that I was not very
respectful to my wife in public. He explained that the ladies of the
church would not honor me as a minister for this reason. At the time
I was offended that he would tell me this as I thought I was very good
to my wife. However, years later, I see where he was coming from.
I’m grateful that he was bold enough and honest enough to talk to me
about a sensitive subject. Honoring my wife and publicly showing her
affection has not only given me respect among the other ladies of the
church, but has also been a blessing to our marriage.
2. Shows a good example for you to follow.
The old cliché “Do as I say, not as I do.†Does not work in
mentoring. A lifelong mentor should be someone who is a model of who
you want to become. Everyone is a little bit like the people who have
parented them. Part of a mentor’s role is to let the protégé watch
them closely in the work that they do. One of my mentors would often
times invite me to sit in on important meetings that I had no
experience in. I would never say a word unless asked my input. I
understood that I was there to observe and to learn. I watched my
mentor closely to see how he handled fragile situations that I had no
experience in. I would often ask myself how I would handle these
often sensitive meetings, but would then watch my mentor expertly
handle delicate subjects with Godly wisdom.
3. Sees you as family.
Mentoring someone is a life long commitment. Your best mentors are
not people who are only a part of your life for a short amount of
time. A mentor sees you as a son or daughter in the Gospel. Paul who
mentored Timothy referred to him as his son. Anything less than a
family level commitment may prove to be a surface only relationship
between mentor and protégé. Often times, subjects discussed in a
mentoring relationship are sensitive and personal. A protégé needs
to know that he is going to someone who is a father figure who only
has the protégé’s best interest in mind.
4. Shows himself/herself to be open and transparent with you.
A good mentor is someone who is not afraid to talk to those they
mentor about their failures as well as their successes. My father
would often say to me, “Don’t make the same mistakes that I have
made.†This is a good reason for mentors to be open with their
protégés. You may save that person a tremendous amount of pain and
numerous mistakes by revealing to them the mistakes you yourself have
made along the way.
5. Teaches
Personally I find it hard to explain to people how I do the things
that I do well. Some things come naturally to me, but I find it hard
to explain or articulate to others how or why I do what I do. As a
mentor, it’s important for me to slow down and explain the process to
those I mentor. It’s often times harder to explain the process than
do it, but the protégé needs to be able to learn from the mentor’s
giftedness.
6. Sees and believes in your potential.
You cannot effectively mentor another unless you see something in them
that they may not see in themselves. You have to be someone who is
capable of causing them to become someone better than who they
currently are. If you look at that person and only see their
shortcomings, then you may not be the best person to mentor them.
When you mentor someone, you are investing a portion of your life into
them. You will not want to invest that level of commitment in
someone you do not see tremendous potential in. When I look at a
person, I try hard to not see them as they are, but to see them as
they can become. Honestly, I am often very critical of people at
first. This is a problem I have identified in my own personality.
However, through prayer and looking through the eyes of Jesus at
people, I can see tremendous potential that I never would have seen
with the natural eye.
7. Is someone who can help you bring your vision into a reality.
Thru the years, I have had many dreams and visions of God’s will for
my life and ministry. My mentors have helped me understand my various
burdens and help me keep in check which visions were possible and
which ones were not. One mentor recently chuckled and told me there
is no possible way to do all that I currently want to do for the
Lord. He helped me understand that I need to pace myself and that God
will give me the helps along the way to accomplish all I have a vision
for. However, for the mean time, do only what I can humanly do.
8. Is open to learn from you.
Someone once told a joke that God was referring to Solomon when He
said, “Ya, I made him so smart, he started to teach Me.†It is
entirely possible that a protégé may eventually have something to
bring to the table. As a person matures and develops, they may even
surpass the wisdom and knowledge of their mentor in a given area.
This is to be expected and hoped for. This is the purpose of
mentoring, so that the next generation of leaders will have learned
from the experiences of those they glean from. A mentor offers his
protégé a tremendous gift when he allows that person to teach them
something. This shows the protégé that he has graduated in a certain
area. It also shows him that he is honored among those he honors.
By Rev. James Smith
www.site.apayton.me - anthony@apayton.me
Thankful For Friends
www.site.apayton.me - anthony@apayton.me
*** Email entry ***
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.
Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense, and choosing
your friends by their color is unthinkable.
-Anonymous
www.site.apayton.me - anthony@apayton.me
Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense, and choosing
your friends by their color is unthinkable.
-Anonymous
www.site.apayton.me - anthony@apayton.me
*** Email entry ***
For not many men, the proverb saith, can love a friend whom fortune
prospereth unenvying.
-Aeschylus
The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends
thought I didn't exist.
-Aaron Machado
www.site.apayton.me - anthony@apayton.me
www.site.apayton.me - anthony@apayton.me
prospereth unenvying.
-Aeschylus
The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends
thought I didn't exist.
-Aaron Machado
www.site.apayton.me - anthony@apayton.me
www.site.apayton.me - anthony@apayton.me
Dreamers
"Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are
lonely." - Erma Bombeck.
www.site.apayton.me - anthony@apayton.me
Time To Make That Change
body message not retrieved
Excellence
www.site.apayton.me - anthony@apayton.me
G.K. Chesterton
IN the city set upon slime and loam
They cry in their parliament 'Who goes home?'
And there comes no answer in arch or dome,
For none in the city of graves goes home.
Yet these shall perish and understand,
For God has pity on this great land.
Men that are men again; who goes home?
Tocsin and trumpeter! Who goes home?
For there's blood on the field and blood on the foam
And blood on the body when Man goes home.
And a voice valedictory . . . Who is for Victory?
Who is for Liberty? Who goes home?
- G.K. Chesterton
English Journalist, Author, Poet
(1874 - 1936)
www.site.apayton.me - anthony@apayton.me
They cry in their parliament 'Who goes home?'
And there comes no answer in arch or dome,
For none in the city of graves goes home.
Yet these shall perish and understand,
For God has pity on this great land.
Men that are men again; who goes home?
Tocsin and trumpeter! Who goes home?
For there's blood on the field and blood on the foam
And blood on the body when Man goes home.
And a voice valedictory . . . Who is for Victory?
Who is for Liberty? Who goes home?
- G.K. Chesterton
English Journalist, Author, Poet
(1874 - 1936)
www.site.apayton.me - anthony@apayton.me
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